Honesty is Redemption - Some Personal Thoughts on Honesty

Honesty is Redemption

This is the second part of my article on lying. Read the first part here. 

All of us are searching for redemption. We are searching for an answer to the anxiety, suffering, confusion, and tragedy which life throws at us. What's the resolution to the incompleteness of my existence? Pope Benedict XVI talked about redemption being the finding of a generous love in our lives, with ultimate redemption being the securing of a love which cannot be destroyed by death. In so many words, redemption is communion. And yet we destroy many of the goods things in our lives through our lies, our fear of pain and sacrifice, our selfishness. As I established in the previous post on this topic, when lies are present in our lives we cannot be in authentic communion with anyone else, with ourselves, or with reality. And so if we are caught in lies and deceit, is it possible to be redeemed, to be saved from it? 

Yes, but redemption is going to require a death, a death to the part of ourselves that lives in that deceit and lies. It is only in this dying that we can begin again to form that relation of communion with reality, with ourselves, and with our neighbor. Why is it a death? Well, as we all know, to admit that we have sinned, that we have lied, that we have been selfish, that we did not do what was right, is one of the most difficult things to do. It humbles us. It makes us vulnerable to the one we are confessing to.

If we confess to reality itself that we have corrupted it, that we have warped it from its true nature, there's always a possibility that we may not like the circumstances that we find ourselves in. If I have have an addiction and I finally admit that my behavior is bad, I have to simultaneously face the fact of how bad it has been for me, and that I may not be able to change the effects of it on my body/mind.

If we confess to ourselves our lies we have to face the fact that we are not all we might have hoped to be as a person. We realize that we are more dependent on others than we would have wanted. We understand that in taking the easy way out we have squandered our potential. And worst of all, we may have to realize that we have been morally corrupt, contributing to the problems of the world and not the solutions.

Finally, if we confess to another we submit ourselves in vulnerability to them and their judgment. Will the other take advantage of my vulnerability? Will they forgive me? Or will they reject me and cast me off? It is a risk, like love is always a risk. Whenever we put ourselves into the life of another in a vulnerable way, we take a risk. And so honesty is a death to oneself, yet it is the path to redemption. We cannot begin to fix the unhealthy parts of our life and heal if we do not recognize that they are there. We cannot begin to fulfill our potential as a person unless we recognize that we have failed it. And we cannot love others unless we are willing to humbly admit our fault and restore the trust that relationships require.

And here is where the beauty of prayer and penance come in. Every time we pray to God from our heart we exercise an expression of honesty. You cannot lie to God, as he knows all. You cannot get anything past him, he sees all circumstances interior and exterior. And so to take the time to pray is to reestablish that relationship with reality, with our truest self, with our neighbor ... and most importantly God. The ultimate form of this is the Catholic sacrament of confession. Here we take time to examine our consciences of all of our lies and corruption. We humbly speak them aloud to a representative of the Church. We ask for forgiveness. We commit ourselves to doing better. And we perform a penance in reparation. Penance is a voluntary dying to oneself. It is practicing honesty everyday. We recognize that we are broken human beings, attracted to selfishness and lies and we seek to voluntarily tame those parts of us. 

And so honesty, prayer, penance, confession ... these are the healthiest things we can do in life. I am reminded of a scene from the move The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring where Boromir has been corrupted by the ring. He wants the power for himself so that he can go to defend his people from Mordor with their own weapon. Towards the end he breaks his oath to protect Frodo and turns on him, seeking to strip him of the ring. And yet, Boromir does not die as a villain. Rather, he is humble enough to come to grips with his sin, and ends up giving his life in defense of Frodo. As he lays dying, Aragorn, who kept his integrity against the ring, comes to his side. There Boromir confesses his sin and dies a true hero. Here is the dialogue. Boromir's story is all of our stories. Do we have the humility enough to embrace it?

  

                 BOROMIR (panicked) Frodo...where is Frodo? ARAGORN I let Frodo go.        (Boromir holds Aragorn's gaze.)    BOROMIR Then you did what I could not. I tried to take the ring from him. ARAGORN The ring is beyond our reach now. BOROMIR Forgive me, I did not see... I have failed you all. ARAGORN No, Boromir. You fought bravely. You have kept your honor.

           (Aragorn tries to bind Boromir's wound.) BOROMIR Leave it! It is over...the world of Men will fall and all will come to darkness and my city to ruin... Aragorn... ARAGORN I do not know what strength is in my blood, but I swear to you... I will not let the White City fall, nor your people fail... BOROMIR Our people...our people... (Aragorn places Boromir's sword in his hand. Boromir's fingers tighten around the hilt.) BOROMIR (CONT'D) I would have followed you, my brother...my captain, my King.

(Aragorn lays Boromir down. He is dead.) ARAGORN Be at peace, son of Gondor.

(Aragorn bends and Kisses Boromir's forehead.)